Jessy's Adoption Story Part 13

More scrapbook pages...the years before digital cameras.... or at least before they were the camera of choice!

Part 13:

This one is long but I need to finish :O)

I wish I would have written all this down long ago as I know there are many things forgotten…especially ways people encouraged us during this time etc. The Lord has given us such great friends and a huge support group through all this – from the Shacks, Ardo’s, Wests, our families and others. I know I am not mentioning everyone but please know that we were and still are so thankful for all your love, counsel and support – including reference letters written on all 4 adoptions by the Shacks, Ardo’s and Wests and the many phone calls and counsel. Thank you to everyone who was involved – especially Beth, Patty and Michelle – not ever sure what I would do without all of you. And our parents who were both very excited and supportive. My mom gave me tons of counsel and tons of prayer. Robert’s mom, Lu, was really helpful to me even in meeting our birthmom. She had always wished that she had met hers and knew more of her story. When we met Robert’s birthfather (Lance) a couple years later, Lu was one of the first to come meet him.

I think everyone was pretty nervous that we were seeing the birthmom the day after we brought Jessy home and yet at the same time, everyone was totally supportive. It was all so new to all of us but we really felt the Lord’s leading and had peace that we should go forward with the visit.

I was afraid myself as I didn’t know anyone that saw their birthmom after the baby was born – especially 2 days after the birth. We trusted Tim’s advice that it was good, it just was so soon. I thought, “I’ll see her, make her a turkey sandwich and send her on her way!” I don’t mean that in a rude way – I was just scared and ready to have the visit to settle L’s heart and then move on. I didn't know ANYONE that had open adoptions. Everyone I knew (even the my friend who was a birthmom) did NOT have open adoptions. Now - you must know that all the timing was quickly running through my head. I knew that Bonnie had Fed Ex'd the paperwork the night before and that it was a done deal by 10 a.m. on Friday...but still it was a bit scary...We just weren't sure why it was so soon.

When she arrived (with her mom) and started walking toward the house, Robert and I had incredible peace that it was all right - we both had the same feeling at the same time. When we talked about it later I remember saying to him that I felt total peace the very second I saw her and he said the same thing. It was so incredible. We were no longer afraid. We had the BEST time with them. I did feed them turkey sandwiches but didn’t want to rush them out! It was good for L to see her in our home and I was so proud of Jessy that I couldn’t wait for them to see her. It was so fun to show them our home and Jessy’s room. We all loved on Jessy and as they were leaving we said that we would love to see her again. We all felt the same way. It didn’t seem right to NOT see her.

Her mom and I had many talks on the phone after that – we would laugh that we didn’t know what we were doing (because it was all so new) but that we would just keep going and be honest with each other. L was very young – none of us really knew how to handle the relationships. At that point we had kind of decided that we would see them until Jessy was 2 or so. We saw them again at Christmas time (so about 3 weeks later). L’s mom made her a beautiful homemade stocking. Again it was all so comfortable and sweet. We decided that we would make decisions based on Jessy – that if we saw it as harmful or confusing, we would stop. It hasn’t been confusing. It has been a blessing and a great thing.

We also came to a decision that if it was to be open, they needed to embrace all the Dodson’s – any future children that God brought – they have been amazing. They love all our kids and all our children love them. They have been so respectful of our parents. I remember L’s mom saying many times that she never wants to take anything from Jessy’s Grandmas (my mom and Robert’s mom). That she wanted them to be the first Grandmas. They have never made it about them and their relationship or their rights.

We still see all of them – even the one sister who moved away makes time for us when she comes to California. We love them all – it’s been great for Jessy. It’s not weird or strange – it’s right and good. If you have met her, then you know. L has met most of our friends and family. L even came to some youth group activities with us while still in high school. One time we went to her high school when she was a princess for homecoming (that's her in the picture above). Sometimes we tell people who she is, sometimes we don’t. Jessy was in her wedding (and her sister’s) - most people didn’t know who Jessy really was. It was actually kind of funny. I remember one lady asking me how I knew their family! I didn’t quite know what to say and I felt like she was fishing…

Since meeting them, we have met the birthfather’s sister and mother. We have not met the father and someday when Jessy is older, she may want to do that but we are leaving that up to her to decide when she is older. He never met her when she was young and we feel that it would not be good to introduce him right now. We all felt that it could be awkward for Jessy at this point but we would love to meet him someday. We love his sister and his mother – I stay in contact with the sister and she is also so great with all my kids. We don’t have contact with the other birthfather’s of our kids so I do treasure this relationship.

Well … I guess I’m done with Jessy's story. There is so much more to tell but it would get too long. Yes – Jessy is just like her. Their personalities are hilarious. Even tonight while driving home from youth group Jessy made a comment about something and it sounded just like L 13 years ago! It made me smile! Same expressions, same sarcastic sense of humor, same comebacks.

Jessy you are a HUGE blessing. It seems like yesterday when we brought you home from the hospital. It has been the most amazing journey. I wish we have expressed to you how happy and thankful we are to be your parents. You are an incredible gift to us. It has been so fun for me to go back and remember some of the details of how the Lord brought you to us. You are a special girl who we love very much. May you continue to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior.