For Steph

Dear Stephanie,

As I don't journal, this is the spot I tend to write everything in so I am writing you a journal of our day today. I actually made this site so that I would put things down that I wish to remember and that I want all of you kids to remember some day. I'm so much better at typing than writing - sorry!...I have started about 10 journals - filled about 10 pages and that's it - all with good intentions. I even had a typed journal somewhere but it is gone -...So...when I thought of recording my day ...I thought of putting it in here - when you are older - maybe computers won't be around- but hopefully a copy of this will be somewhere. Maybe I will print it and put it in one of my many unfinished journals...Actually I think I will...

I had to best day with you. You were coughing like the really old lady at Loma Linda Hospital (when Papa was in there the first time - I thought she was going to die with every cough..so maybe you weren't that bad but it's what I thought of when you coughed this morning). I couldn't put you in the nursery at church, yet you didn't seem sick at all - you just sounded REALLY sick when coughing...so we headed to San Diego with Jessy for 3 softball games. Aft first I was a bit nervous at you being at three games but you were fantastic ALL day.

We had such a great time - funny that you will never remember it but it was really special to me. You were happy the whole way in the car, singing to all the songs in Princess and the Pauper, you were excited to go to the park - all along I'm knowing you thought there would be toys...I was secretly hoping there was - there wasn't. We got there late (got lost), had to park far away. You followed dutifully behind me while I held a bag for you (in case you had a potty training accident), a backpack for you, a chair for me, and a snack bag for all of us. I shoved money and keys in my pockets as I had no more arms and off we went to the dirty, dusty fields. You were so cute following behind me - a long walk trying to explore along the way - you seemed to know that today you needed to be a really big girl. You got there, said Hi to everyone and instantly wanted a snow cone. I actually bought you one worried that the sugar in the first 10 minutes was not a good choice but it turned out okay - I wondered how many snow cones I would buy that day but it turns out that was it. You sat like a big girl and ate it.

You smiled at everyone, cheered for the girls (you often repeated what they say from the dugout) ....went from spot to spot, changing from toy to toy. I made you clean up everything before you moved on to the next thing so actually it was good training. You had to go potty - it was gross of course - three outhouses, we chose one and went in. It was really gross but we had to do it. I wasn't sure if you really noticed it - i was actually fearful you would fall in the hole so i loaded it with toilet paper (not sure how it would help but i did cover up the gross hole)...well you did it - we actually had to go three other times - you of course wanted to look in the hole every time which I wouldn't let you and you obeyed :O)

We had a break after the first game. You wandered away from me and sat down with the team parents (in seconds - you are lightening fast - ask anyone!) - I looked up couldn't find you and a mom pointed in the direction (near me but you couldn't see me) - Bethany's grandpa sat by you and scared the living daylights out of you by talking to you! you screamed and cried in panic running to where you had left me, but I was already on my way to get you and you went right by me - I have never seen you so panicked in 3 years! You were terrified, screaming my name and crying huge tears. I was actually happy that you were afraid (I was sad you were sad, but happy that you maybe learned a lesson) - you didn't leave me after that and you told his wife that he was a scary man. You told me quietly that he was ugly (you say ug-a-wee) - you don't know what that means - but you must think it means scary.

During the break, all the girls sat in a circle - you of course wanted to sit with jessy but then noticed that a boy near Mariah had nachos. Mariah offered you one and you said, "no thank you, I want my own..." Thinking that would take up 15 minutes, I went and got you nachos - you sat with Jessy on the chair and shared them. The first chip got nacho cheese all over your nose and you giggled and showed Jessy and me your little upturned nose - with the cutest, shiny and sparkly blue eyes!

The next game started at 1:30 - I laid a towel on a wooden table in the shade - you laid on it for a while - Jessy needed water so you and I went to the far away car to get our drinks and the ipod. You followed behind me as the walkway was narrow - running into a pole with your head (not ever sure how you do what you do half the time). I had to carry you most of the way there and back, holding the drink bag which was leaking and heavy. You wanted to sleep in the car but trudged on back to the hard table anyway...I gave you the ipod (you lip sync'd some songs looking hilarious) and there you tried to fall asleep having me choose songs for you - I wanted to play worship for you and you emphatically said, "no worship!" - I'll worry about that later... about 1/2 hour later you fell asleep for about 1 hour and 15 minutes! That's the picture above.

When you woke up, a little family was sitting around the table. The boy was saying he was going to be spiderman for Halloween, the sister was teasing him saying she was going to be spiderman - this banter went back and forth about 6 times - he got in trouble for getting mad (when it was the sister who should have been in trouble) - the sister laughed and teased him again - you got a very sweet look on your face and said the the sister's friend, "do you know what I am going to be?" she didn't care but thought she should be polite and said, "what?" you said, "Pooh!" You are not going to be Pooh - you are going to be a beautiful princess - I told you that and you looked at her very sweetly and told her that - then the boy and girl started arguing again and you gave them a huge dirty look - you said something very stern about him being spiderman and we left quickly! I think you think spiderman is a bad guy and you weren't too happy with the whole scene.

We watched the last game (jessy by the way did really good all day - hit really well - even hit one over the left-fielders head to the fence)...You talked really sweet with all the parents. You visited Emma (Dee-Dees' dog). When we got there you had said, "what's Peanut's name?" you mean Emma but it's so cute that you refer to it at the next door neighbors little dog... You were polite and asked if you could look in the ice chest (because we had a talk there that you can't touch things that are not yours..it clicked today) - you found 5 gatorades and she gave you one. Then you explored her purse (she let you) and she gave you corn nuts and a granola bar! I told you that you couldn't open the corn nuts until you finished the granola bar - you shoved the whole thing in your mouth and tried hard to chew - choked - spit it on your hand and tried to hand it to me...

You of course took your sandals off and went the whole day barefoot (except of course to go to the outhouses and the car).

After the third game, the coaches were talking to the girls. This is my favorite memory of the day - Jessy was on one knee - you went to her side, did the same pose and listened to Dave give his talk - smiling at him like he was your coach. I wish I had my camera...but it was back in the bag, on the chair with the 4 other bags...

As we left, I pulled Jessy's softball bag, you laid on it while I dragged it back to our stuff - smiling and waving to people as if you were in a parade.

When we got our stuff - you insisted on pulling your rolling backpack as if it was your softball bag, all the way to the car! You raced with Chelsea to get there first.

We watched Princess and the Pauper again, went to the mall to pick up things I had on hold, went to Chili's (for takeout) and came home. You never lost it, never got whiny - you were sooo good today and so much fun. You still had energy when we got home! Dani had a big blow up hammer and you came up and hit us in my room, giggling so hard! I took the hammer from you and hit you and you laughed even harder at how funny this game was - you fell over trying to catch your breath!

I love you tons and tons and thank the Lord for you all the time. You have brought so much joy to our whole family -immediate and extended. When I think of the circumstances that brought you our way, I marvel at God's gift to us and His grace in your lives. We love you with all our hearts Goose Friend. and, as an aside - Jessy is so good to you - she loves you and smiles at you with the most tender look in her eyes - I can tell she is proud of how cute you are when you "accidentally" wander into her dugout trying to sneak in non-challantly hoping no one sends you out.

Well - I'm off to bed. The wind is raging outside and there are 12 fires literally raging across Southern California tonight. The Ardo's may be coming to stay with us as their entire valley is smoke and ashes. I better get some sleep.

Love, Mommy