Jessy's Adoption Story Part 2
Jessy at Aunt Kerry's wedding in Cape Cod.Part 2:
At this time, I was pushing for adoption far more than Robert which was funny to me because he was the one adopted – I just wanted a baby – I really didn’t care if it came from me! Also – Robert had a great life – loved his parents dearly and always treasured the fact that he was adopted! I remember one time going to a Bible Study and this little girl came up and called her dad “Daddy.” (I know they all do that!) BUT she was adopted and for some reason it all clicked with Robert, he said he was ready. We decided that we would go to the doctor one last time and if it didn’t work, we would adopt. I didn’t know at the time but Robert was praying that if we were to adopt, we would not make it to the doctor appointment. I wouldn’t have prayed that way because who couldn’t make it to a doctor appointment – they are always open?? We went to a winter camp from Scott’s college group at Grace. We HAD to go down the hill and get to the doctor by the next morning. It was snowing so hard, it took forever. We get home that night – I called the doctor in the morning. She said we couldn’t come in as they were closing early that day. When I told Robert he started laughing and said, “Well we are adopting then!” I was thinking he would say that because we didn’t go that one last time, we would have to wait one more month but I didn’t know how he had prayed!
Over the two years of trying to conceive, I had looked into adoption a lot. I had a dear friend who placed a baby for adoption (a birthmom herself) - she counseled me a lot and helped me to start loving birthmoms. We had friends that lost a baby – the birthmom took her back when she was four months old. Actually she was a friend of a friend. I got her number and talked with her a lot – why did that happen? How should we avoid something like that? She actually used a facilitator and counseled us strongly to not go that route. Anyway she recommended two attorneys. I was a little leery of attorneys because birthmoms at that time had six months to change their minds (with attorney adoptions) if they wanted their babies back. But for some reason, we felt the Lord directing us to go with an attorney. We also knew that you can sign up to have an agency file the papers (called an identified placement) and then the mother’s decision would be final within 3 days of the papers being signed.
Oddly enough, one of the two attorneys she recommended had a brochure that was so into open adoption that we didn’t even call him. We couldn’t imagine having that open of an adoption – where you actually see the birthmom after the baby is born and have an ongoing relationship! (That sounds so funny to me now as all our adoptions are very open.) The other attorney, Tim Blied, sounded far more “normal” to me. He seemed to offer open adoption but it wasn’t all over his flyer! Come to find out, the two men are friends actually and work together all the time and have the same views on open adoption. The second man, Ron Stoddard, who we didn’t choose, is a close associate of Tim’s and actually finalized Dani and Stephanie with the agency he and Tim are now involved with! Funny how God directs using our ignorance!!! We were “ok” with meeting the birthmom and then maybe writing letters and pictures but in no way, shape or form were we going to continue a face to face relationship after the baby was born. It “seemed” so unhealthy to us at that time and probably downright weird. My friend who was a birthmom herself didn’t see her son so I didn’t even think of it. If you know our stories and are amazed, then you will see how God progressed us to the point of our open adoptions which are huge, amazing blessings to our family.
At this time, I was pushing for adoption far more than Robert which was funny to me because he was the one adopted – I just wanted a baby – I really didn’t care if it came from me! Also – Robert had a great life – loved his parents dearly and always treasured the fact that he was adopted! I remember one time going to a Bible Study and this little girl came up and called her dad “Daddy.” (I know they all do that!) BUT she was adopted and for some reason it all clicked with Robert, he said he was ready. We decided that we would go to the doctor one last time and if it didn’t work, we would adopt. I didn’t know at the time but Robert was praying that if we were to adopt, we would not make it to the doctor appointment. I wouldn’t have prayed that way because who couldn’t make it to a doctor appointment – they are always open?? We went to a winter camp from Scott’s college group at Grace. We HAD to go down the hill and get to the doctor by the next morning. It was snowing so hard, it took forever. We get home that night – I called the doctor in the morning. She said we couldn’t come in as they were closing early that day. When I told Robert he started laughing and said, “Well we are adopting then!” I was thinking he would say that because we didn’t go that one last time, we would have to wait one more month but I didn’t know how he had prayed!
Over the two years of trying to conceive, I had looked into adoption a lot. I had a dear friend who placed a baby for adoption (a birthmom herself) - she counseled me a lot and helped me to start loving birthmoms. We had friends that lost a baby – the birthmom took her back when she was four months old. Actually she was a friend of a friend. I got her number and talked with her a lot – why did that happen? How should we avoid something like that? She actually used a facilitator and counseled us strongly to not go that route. Anyway she recommended two attorneys. I was a little leery of attorneys because birthmoms at that time had six months to change their minds (with attorney adoptions) if they wanted their babies back. But for some reason, we felt the Lord directing us to go with an attorney. We also knew that you can sign up to have an agency file the papers (called an identified placement) and then the mother’s decision would be final within 3 days of the papers being signed.
Oddly enough, one of the two attorneys she recommended had a brochure that was so into open adoption that we didn’t even call him. We couldn’t imagine having that open of an adoption – where you actually see the birthmom after the baby is born and have an ongoing relationship! (That sounds so funny to me now as all our adoptions are very open.) The other attorney, Tim Blied, sounded far more “normal” to me. He seemed to offer open adoption but it wasn’t all over his flyer! Come to find out, the two men are friends actually and work together all the time and have the same views on open adoption. The second man, Ron Stoddard, who we didn’t choose, is a close associate of Tim’s and actually finalized Dani and Stephanie with the agency he and Tim are now involved with! Funny how God directs using our ignorance!!! We were “ok” with meeting the birthmom and then maybe writing letters and pictures but in no way, shape or form were we going to continue a face to face relationship after the baby was born. It “seemed” so unhealthy to us at that time and probably downright weird. My friend who was a birthmom herself didn’t see her son so I didn’t even think of it. If you know our stories and are amazed, then you will see how God progressed us to the point of our open adoptions which are huge, amazing blessings to our family.
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