Jessy's Adoption Story Part 7

Posing in some jackets we found - they were not ours...I think they were her cool friends who had fancy clothes! And that is my sweet friend Bonnie who is simply the BEST.

Part 7:

I’m realizing Jessy’s story will be the longest as it goes back into infertility and even open adoptions in general….so bear with me – if anyone is even reading this!

We met with Bonnie and another woman (no idea who she was – maybe Bonnie was training her?) – I’ll never forget our conversation about infertility. She asked me why we wanted to adopt which seemed a very odd question to me. The answer seems so obvious! So …we explained our story. And don’t forget at this point we had already met L so we saw our baby in her tummy so not only were we over infertility but already had a baby on the way! She laughs now at all my answers. I struggled with infertility, sadness, disappointment etc. but maybe not how others do – I just wanted a baby – pregnancy wasn’t working!!! She kept probing me about how hard it was and I just wanted to get past all that and move on to our approval for adopting Jessica.

We laugh so hard about that conversation now. Bonnie has become one of my dearest and best friends. We had fun with each other right from the beginning. I kept looking at her wondering what she wanted me to say and she kept looking at me wondering at my answers and we both knew that we couldn’t figure each other out! I wonder what that other lady was thinking!

I’ll go back a bit into infertility for Jessica as this is really for her – sorry that it’s long - I had read books about ladies that couldn’t go to baby showers, couldn’t love other people’s children, couldn’t go to births etc. I even read a book I bought at Grace Church that talked about this lady struggling with Christmas because Jesus was a baby. I wasn’t like that. So as I was sitting in this interview with Bonnie I started wondering if I was weird because I didn’t get sad at Jesus’ birth or other children! I would get disappointed and sad about constant infertility but I didn’t go through it the way others did maybe?

When we first couldn’t get pregnant I studied scripture over and over about that topic – especially reading about Hannah and about God’s sovereignty. I would call Patty whenever I would get a negative test. I am definitely not saying it wasn’t a struggle. I read everything I could get my hands on. God was good to me – both of us were sad to not get pregnant but content with wherever He was going to take us on this journey of children! I was waiting for our year to be up to get tested and then waiting for that year to be up to go adopt. I loved being with my friend’s and family’s children. It made me feel better not worse. I still have such special love for the babies I was with all the time in the beginning (Kristine, Kyle, Jonny and Ryan). When Reid was born (May 26) – I remember crying when I saw him (I was there for his birth…) I cried because I couldn’t believe she got to have him – just like that! (Maybe Beth didn’t feel it was “just like that” but I sure did!) I was sad I didn’t have one of my own and I cried because I did want one so bad and was wondering when we were going to get the call.

Once we had decided to adopt I think the wait was almost harder than wondering if I was going to get pregnant! I don’t think I had the thought that adoption wouldn’t work like getting pregnant so it was harder for me! I figured it would work and what was taking so long! - it was hard to be patient. Robert on the other hand wondered if we would ever have kids.

I think sometime after this meeting with Bonnie, I flew to Chicago to move the Ardavanis's (August of 94) - Robert drove their car and came for about a week. I stayed 3 weeks in all and came back to get ready to have a baby! We had lots of paperwork to fill out. Jessy was due right around Christmas...and Tim said he wasn't promising any Christmas babies!