Jessy's Adoption Story Part 6

Part 6:

So here we were waiting for L to call…It actually took her two weeks to call – I started getting worried – maybe she was reconsidering… She called me on June 27, 1994. I remember her saying she was choosing us but had one more question that she wanted to ask us in person – The night she called I was babysitting the Ardo kids that day as it was Alyssa’s birthday…literally…she had just been born when I got the call that I was getting my own baby…who would end up being Alyssa’s best friend! I am so thankful for Alyssa’s friendship in Jessy’s life. It is such a huge blessing to Jessy and to our family. They are so funny – they make videos constantly. I need to get them from Lyssy. Their latest is Andrea Bocelli singing! Back to the story…

We actually went to their home after that and took L to dinner - not that same night - a different night. Tim suggested we do that to get to know each other a little better . We talked a lot at dinner and then she asked us, “If something is seriously wrong with my baby, will you still adopt it?” We said that we would. Robert and I felt very strongly that it was like being pregnant – that if L chose us to be the parents, then it was our baby no matter what. We went back to her home and talked with her family for awhile. I remember having a weird conversation about the strange people we had in our distant families. For instance, we told them about Robert’s Uncle – Chubsy Ubsy from Little Rascals –that he was in a home with long fingernails – I think he got Alzheimers at the end of his life and was a bit “off” but so sweet! We took Rachel to see him once, and he was in love with her! He wanted to sit by her and hug her – it was so cute! I left wondering if L’s family thought we were strange and worrying that they would change their minds!!!! I remember even telling her mom that thought later and she laughed and said they had crazy people too! I guess we all do!

Robert and I were talking tonight about this tonight. We remember that we thought she told us she chose us on Alyssa's birthday (6/27) - it was 3 weeks after that when we went out to dinner and had the talk about if something was wrong would we still adopt her. She called a few days later and told us she picked us. At that point Robert acted a little shocked b/c we thought it was already done - he remembers her saying, "I thought you would be more excited!!" Funny how different perspectives can be! We thought she had already picked us, and she thought she was telling us for the first time. I know she will laugh when she reads this!

She asked me to be her la maze coach (not sure if I spelled that correctly). We went to an unwed mother’s class. There was a girl in there who was 12 with her boyfriend. It was very sad to me. Every girl in there was unwed and very young. Robert and I went to most of her doctor visits –he went when he could. We went to the ultrasound and found out it was a girl. We were thrilled. Her pregnancy was coming along perfectly. She was so cute and sweet the whole time. One time she ran in and wouldn’t talk to me. She came out of the bathroom and said she had to brush her teeth before she said hello! I cracked up –she was so funny. As Jessy heads for her teenage years, she reminds me so much of her – same expressions, same laugh, same interests, same dancing ability. It is amazing knowing L as we do, how much Jessy is like her. She didn’t pick it up from being around her – she just is genetically like her. Sometimes I do a double take at certain expressions – it takes me back 13 years to spending time with L.

I took her shopping once for maternity clothes one time – that was a lot of fun. Our time spent with her was all more than I thought it would be and yet we loved being with her and wanted to spend more time with her. She felt like a daughter to us. I know some friends were getting worried at our attachment to her but to us it was so normal and necessary as well. One time Tim told us that it would probably be smart to let her come see the baby in our home after she was born – that it helps settle their hearts. I would have been shocked at that in our first meeting, but I remember thinking, “Well, ok but just that once!” I would do anything to settle her pain even if it seemed strange to me. We asked if we could have Bethany Christian Services file the paperwork for the adoption. L’s parents were in complete support. They also did not want her to have six months to change her mind –they thought it better for her that her decision be made and be final with no turning back.

So at that point, Bonnie, by dear sweet friend walked into my life…